To understand why you feel you are not healing—despite having tried so many things—we first have to look at what you believe healing is. Many people assume that if they go to church, pray, forgive, or have faith, healing will naturally follow. Others believe healing comes through shadow work, sound baths, laying on of hands, plant medicine, or energetic practices.
All of these can be meaningful. They can bring moments of clarity, emotional release, insight, or shifts in perspective. But moments are not the same as healing. If you do not understand what lies beneath the surface—what is actually driving your patterns—the healing you believe is happening is often just temporary movement, not real change.
You Were Never Broken
Healing is commonly defined as “to make well again” or “to make free from injury or disease.” Even that definition subtly implies that something is wrong with you. The truth is, you have never been broken. You have always been whole. How you frame your journey—whether as fixing yourself or remembering yourself—directly impacts how you move through it.
“I’ve Tried Everything”
When people say, “I’ve tried everything,” it usually feels true, even if it isn’t literally so. What you’re really saying is that you’ve tried everything you know to try. Healing does not begin with techniques; it begins with understanding your journey. When you can fully own your earthly experience, healing becomes less about fixing and more about restoring yourself to coherence.
The Journey of Forgetting
This reality is a journey of forgetting. From the moment you arrive, you begin to forget who and what you are. Your foundation is formed through experience, starting in the womb. By around age eight, your connection to Source has faded into the background, and your early experiences have shaped what you believe to be true about yourself, love, safety, and the world. As an adult, you spend your life sorting through these foundational beliefs. That sorting is what we call healing.
The People Who Mirror You
Part of this journey requires you to relate to people who mirror your distortions. They appear to show you where you are imbalanced. This is where many people get stuck. We relate to others based on what love looked like in our foundational years. What feels like love to one person may feel like neglect, control, or inconsistency to another. And yet, we repeat what is familiar.
Why Forgiveness Is Not the Root
People often believe forgiveness is the key—especially when others mistreat them. But forgiveness is not the root. The people you encounter show up because your energy matches theirs. You were resonant. Your thoughts, words, beliefs, and behaviors attracted them—not as punishment, but because some part of you was ready to heal.
Triggers as Invitations
Healing begins when you stop focusing on what they did and start looking at why it affected you. Every trigger is an invitation. When something hurts or activates you, the work is to ask: when was the first time I felt this way? Where did this pattern begin? When you trace the feeling back to its origin—often in childhood—you reach the root. At the root, you begin to see the pattern: how that early experience shaped your behavior, expectations, boundaries, and self-perception. When you consciously change that pattern, when you respond differently instead of repeating the same behavior, that is healing.
The Ego’s Resistance
The ego resists this process. It prefers blame, because blame keeps you from changing. It convinces you that things happened to you, rather than acknowledging that you showed up for experiences that mirrored your internal state. Owning your story—your choices, reactions, and patterns—is not self-blame. It is self-empowerment. Ownership is what gives you control.
Healing Is Not Linear
Another misconception is believing that healing is a one-time event. It isn’t. Healing is spiral-shaped, not linear. You revisit the same themes again and again, each time from a different level of awareness. This is where frustration arises. You may wonder why you keep attracting the same types of people or situations. The difference is not whether the pattern appears, but whether you respond from the same place.
Remembering Who You Are
When you change your perspective on why people enter your life, you shift into control. We meet people who match our energy—those who can either lift us or reveal what still needs attention. We cycle back to unresolved or distorted tones until they are brought back into coherence. This process is not about becoming someone new but remembering who you have always been.